Week 2—Welcome to the wonderful and messy, painful and hopeful world of church conflict

Why we do this

       We began by looking at sobering stats about the effects the marginalization of the LGBTQ community has on queer youth in particular—increased risks of homelessness, depression, and even suicide. But there is hope: LGBTQ youth who reported having at least one LGBTQ-affirming space had 35% reduced risk. This is why the work that we are doing to open our hearts and minds to queer inclusion is so important.

       Scholar David Gushee explains how this data led him to explore affirming theology: "The fact that traditionalist Christian teaching produces despair in just about every gay or lesbian person who must endure it is surely very relevant information for the LGBTQ debate… It became clear to me that however complex the exegetical and theological issues are, existentially and humanly I needed to wrestle with these questions in the community of the bullied rather than the community of the bullies."

How do churches decide stuff???

       Before even digging into the "clobber verses", it's helpful to look at what we can learn from the history of the church about how to resolve conflict. Queer inclusion is not the first time the Church has faced conflict over an important issue, and it won't be the last. The history of the early church in the book of Acts is a story of the church coming together time and again to resolve those conflicts and move forward.

       The first major conflict arises over the issue of circumcision in Acts 15:1-31. This is not something most churches are conflicted over these days, but it was in the 1st c. The conflict is triggered by the influx of Gentile (non-Jewish) converts to Christianity. Prior to Paul, the vast majority of new Christians were Jewish. The men would have already been circumcised when they were 8 days old—it was a done deal. But this influx of uncircumcised Gentiles raises the question of what Jewish practices do they need to adopt in order to be a part of the Christian church? For adult men this is obviously a really important consideration. And for the Church itself, there's a lot on the line that will determine how far their message reaches beyond the Jewish community.

       So in Acts 15, a meeting or is called of the church leaders to resolve the issue—much like church leaders today are gathering to discuss and debate queer inclusion.

       As we read through the story of how they resolved this conflict in Acts 15, the first thing I notice is that both sides are using Scripture. The side arguing for circumcision references the "law of Moses" in verses 1 and 5. And James, who as bishop of the church in Jerusalem seems to be moderating this meeting, cites "the words of the prophets" in verses 15-18. Both of these are references to the Old Testament, the only Bible they would have at the time.

       So often in the church, the debate over including and affirming LGBTQ+ believers is framed as a debate of "Bible-believers" versus "Bible deniers". It's framed as one side having the Bible and the other side caving in to social norms or pressure. But this is not the case. Both sides are using and citing Scripture to make their argument. Indeed, most church conflict is like that— both sides leaning on Scripture.

       For most Christians, the Bible is the primary and most important source of authority– the tool we rely on to find truth and the data we need to make decisions. This workshop assumes that, and will focus most of our attention on what Scripture has to say about queer inclusion.

       But the fact that, like in the debate in Acts 15, most church conflict involves Scripture on both sides means that we need to bring in other tools to help us to interpret and apply Scripture to the particular issue. That doesn't lessen the primacy of the Bible. Quite the contrary, the effort to think and study deeply is one way that we honor Scripture. The other sources of authority we bring in are simply tools we use to help us consider how we apply Scripture to the concern at hand.

       In Acts 15, we can see several additional tools the early church leaders brought to the discussion to inform their decision. The first is found in the very fact that such a convocation was called. Paul could have just stuck his tongue out at those who said the Gentiles needed to be circumcised and continued on doing what he was doing. He could have engaged in name calling or hostile accusations. Instead, he submits himself to this process—allowing the decision to be made in community. So, while our discussion about queer inclusion might be fraught, anxiety producing, and even deeply painful at times—it is a holy process. It is a process about building a beautiful and loving community where all voices are respected.

       So the first supplemental tool we can see in Acts 15 is community. Reading on, we see a couple more. Both Paul and Peter describe what happened when they shared the gospel with Gentiles (vs. 4, 8, 12). Paul says there were "miraculous signs and wonders." Peter says "God gave them the Holy Spirit." James references their testimony as important in v. 14. So we can see experience—our experience of God's movement and activity—as another source of authority.

       Finally, James begins his argument in vs. 19 with the phrase "it is my judgment" showing us that our reasoning—our intellectual capacity to research and learn and think about an issue—is another important tool in our communal decision making.

       This particular set of four sources of authority was most famously identified by John Wesley as an important way of discerning together God's leading. Called "the Wesleyan Quadrilateral" it places the Bible in the center as the primary and most important source of authority, with experience, reason and community (or church tradition) as subordinate tools to help interpret and apply Scripture.

       As we work our way through the six "clobber verses" that address homosexuality, we will come back to this pattern again and again—using these supplemental tools to interpret and apply Scripture to the question of queer inclusion, while also looking at what other biblical teachings might apply to this question.

       I love the way the final decision of the Jerusalem council is described in their letter to the churches in vs. 28: "It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us." There's a lovely humility there that highlights the work of the community, as well as our faith that God's Spirit is working in and through our discussion. No matter how fraught or deeply painful this process may be, it is holy work, and God is moving in and through it.

       Our workshop is a place to lean into the practice of community, as we spend time each week discussing these passages together. I encourage you as well to intentionally set aside time each week to think, pray and process what you're learning. Ask God to speak to you and open our eyes and hearts to where God is leading.

A particularly ugly story… but is it a story about gay sex???

      The clobber verse/passage that is most strongly associated with the Bible's position on homosexuality is the story of Sodom in Gen. 19:1-26. It's obviously where we get the term 'sodomy'. But note that the Bible doesn't use the term sodomy—that's an English word coined long after the fact based on people's interpretation or association with Sodom, not on anything in the text itself.

       It's a very ugly and violent story, disturbing for a lot of reasons (let this serve as a trigger warning). The story begins when God calls Abraham to leave his home in Ur and resettle in The Promised Land (Canaan). Abraham brings along his nephew, Lot, who eventually settles in the city of Sodom.

       When the story begins, Lot is visited by what appears to be three men—but the text tells us they are actually angels. The men of city show up wanting to gang rape the angels. The city is then destroyed by God as an act of judgment for their wickedness.

       There are a lot of disturbing elements of this story—at one point Lot offers up his daughters to appease the crowd, the destruction of an entire the city, Lot's wife being turned into a pillar of salt. We could spend an hour on each of these disturbing elements, but for the purpose of exploring this as a teaching on homosexuality, I find three key questions to ponder: What is the most important thing in this story?  Is this a story about homosexuality? Are the angels really male?

       What stands out to me most in this passage is not the apparent (but dubious) gender of the angels, but the fact that the crowd wants to gang rape them. We know, of course, that rape is not an act of love, or even of desire or lust. It is an act of violence and domination. We have seen this throughout our sordid and painful history.

       This story is offered up in Gen. 19 as an explanation for Sodom's destruction because of their "wickedness"—but Genesis never says what that wickedness might be. The closest we come to connecting it to homosexuality is in Jude 7, where it is described as unspecified "sexual immorality." Rape would certainly fit the bill, regardless of the gender of those involved. The context of Jude 7 is about angels—and it occurs to me there is something deeply perverse about a people who are visited by angels—messengers of God—and their first response is not awe or wonder or curiosity about their message—but rape. So it could refer to defiling the holy.

       But we have a much clearer explanation in Ezek.16:49-50: “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen."

       Hospitality in the ancient middle east was not just a matter of etiquette or socializing. In a time before there was a Holiday Inn in every town and a Starbucks on every corner, showing holy hospitality to strangers traveling through your community was a life-saving act. It was an act of compassion. Their response to vulnerable strangers in their midst is a peek into their hardened hearts.

       We will continue this pattern of exploring one "clobber verse" each week. In each case, it will be an invitation to move beyond a surface, superficial reading to think deeply about what the text really says. When we are willing to do the hard work of digging in, we honor Scripture by taking it seriously and being willing to invest our time and energy. When we do the hard work of listening to the LGBTQ+ community, prayerfully learning about their experience, being willing to navigate painful conflict even in our families and churches, we are engaging in holy work. We are showing the compassion of Christ, and trusting in God's Spirit to move in and through it.

Taking a Deep Breath

As we begin to discuss and consider queer inclusion in our churches and families, conflict often comes to the forefront. When we're talking about the lives and wellbeing of our own loved ones, this raises anxiety. We’ve gathered some tips from our leadership team for managing that stress and being able to be a "non-anxious presence" in those spaces:

1. Lower the temperature—use deep breaths and cognitive reframing to remain calm and non-anxious.

2.  Listen carefully, ask good questions, and summarize what you heard.

3.  Spend some time in prayer and silence together.

4.  Use clear communication. Defining terms is particularly important here.

5.  Look for places of commonality. Is it possible to reframe the conflict?

6.  Keep coming back to prayer and silence.

Come, Holy Spirit, come.

       Open our eyes, open our hearts. Help us to trust in you and in one another as we discern together. Help us to listen well to those on the margins, those it may be easy to overlook. Remind us that they are your beloved children. Help us to be brave.

       In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.