Week 7: Moving Forward

 Recognizing the gift and the giver

       As we reach the end of our trans-forming workshop, we see the hope and beauty ahead. Our community gathered around the zoom screen has struggled to learn new language and grammar and ask hard questions. We have been stretched theologically and we have been stretched relationally. But today we see the promise that lies behind all this: the gift of trans and non-binary inclusion.

       Brittany started us off with a beautiful spiritual practice: a loving kindness meditation that focuses on giving and receiving love broadly and unconditionally– for those who are easy to love and those who are difficult, for those who agree with us, and those with whom we disagree.

       This led naturally to our discussion of the gifts that trans and non-binary members bring to the table when they are allowed to come with their full selves. Tara Soughers observes that If we exclude the trans community "Our congregations might be a lot more comfortable, but we would be missing their gifts. We would miss the individual gifts that God has given each and every one of them. We would also miss the gift that God gave to the trans community for our sake, for in their diversity, their challenge to binary forms of gender, they call us to imagine God in ways that break us out of those binary boxes in which we have tried to stuff not only humankind, but God as well. They remind us that human beings, made in the image and likeness of a God who cannot be fully comprehended by human beings, are also complex, mysterious, and beyond our attempts to simplify them into easily managed categories. Most of all, trans people challenge us to live up to Christ's admonition to love one another…

        "Acknowledging that trans people are indeed made in God's image and likeness and that we are called to love them as we are called to love all of Gods' children is one of God's gifts in our time. May we learn to truly love one another, for love—all love—is from God, who is Love."

       Turning to Scripture, we look at the story of the lost sheep in Luke 15:1-7. Like most parables, it's counter-intuitive and counter-cultural. We are so prone to counting heads and thinking about "the greatest good for the greatest number." Even (or especially) in our churches where resources are stretched thin and the need is great.

       But what Jesus is telling us in this story is not just that the lost sheep is important—they are! But it's more than that—its about the wellbeing of the flock as a whole. The flock is more than just the sum of the parts. Jesus is telling the flock—and us— that we need each other. We cannot thrive if we're not whole. We are diminished when one part is absent, whether "lost" or pushed out.

       And so, as we turn in this final session from the theoretical to the practical, we are reminded that this is not "charity work." This is the work of enhancing and enriching the entire community. Tara Soughers writes, "Many churches are becoming much more welcoming for members of the trans community, and God knows we need to become more welcoming. But it is not enough simply to welcome. To welcome them into our congregations is to imply somehow that this is our church: we are the hosts and they are guests. To place them in the role of guests is to require them to behave in socially acceptable ways and to follow the rules of the house they are visiting. To welcome them as quests is to keep them separate and contained. To welcome them as guests is to state, although perhaps more nicely than we do many other times, that they are not related to us. If we really believe, however, that they, like all of us, are made in the image and likeness of God, then they are not our guests, and we are not their hosts. God is the host, and all of us are God's family, gathered around the dinner table. There are always people we are less comfortable with at large family gatherings.. We manage to put up with their flaws and faults, as they so graciously put up with ours."

Practical steps in moving forward

        So what can we do to make this dream a reality? Hartke gives us several practical steps we can take to move forward. The idea is not to try to tackle them all at once—that might be overwhelming—but rather to choose one thing, one faithful step forward, at a time.

Church assessment:

       But first, we begin with assessment. Before we move forward we have to see honestly where we are beginning. And so Hartke gives us five key questions we can ask to assess where we are beginning in our churches. I suggest you give your faith community a score on a scale of 0-5—with 5 indicating you are doing well on all five indicators. Do this not as a point of guilt or shame, but rather as a starting point so you can measure your progress.

1. What steps has your community taken to become more knowledgeable about gender identity and trans experience?

2, What kinds of spaces has your community made for internal conversations about gender identities and welcoming transgender members?

3. Has your community written any kind of statement of welcome or affirmation that explicitly includes trans and gender-expansive people?

4. Is your community part of a nation-wide LGBTQI2A affirmation program (e.g. Reconciling Works Lutherans, More Light Presbyterian, Covenant Network of Presbyterians, Reconciling Ministries Network United Methodists, Welcoming and Affirming Baptists, or Call to Action Catholics)?

5. What concrete steps is your community taking each week, month or year to support transgender and gender-expansive people?

Suggestions for faith communities:

       Hartke then makes a number of suggestions to help churches get started in becoming an inclusive faith community. As you read them, ask yourself: Which of these resonated? Which would be hardest? Are there any you would add? Invite your pastor and church leader, along with members of the trans and nonbinary community, into those conversations. Together, choose a first step to begin moving forward. You can read the full list on pg 206-207 (p. 171 in the 1st ed), but here's a sampling:

• Create an advocacy group in your church that will commit to dialogue with your denominational governing board about trans inclusion

• Hold a liturgy for Transgender Day of Remembrance (Nov. 20) and celebrate Trans Day of Visibility (Mar. 31)

• Offer continuing ed classes on topics related to gender and gender identity

• Have a presence at your nearest LGBTQI2A Pride celebration

• Encourage participation and leadership of transgender people in the life of the church

• Have prayers and/or liturgy available for name changes, preparation for surgery, preparation for hormone therapy and coming out/inviting in

• Create a gender-neutral restroom in your church building

• Use inclusive language for the congregation (e.g. siblings in Christ rather than brothers and sisters) in sermons, liturgies, bulletins and fliers

• Use gender-expansive language for God

• Make sure all church leaders—youth leaders especially—have had some training on gender diversity so they can respond compassionately and knowledgably when a transgender person visits or an existing member comes out.

• Include stories of gender minorities like the ones found in Hartke's book in your youth curricula to help trans youth connect to their faith

Suggestions for individuals:

       We can work individually as well as corporately. Hartke also gives suggestions to help us as individuals support our trans and nonbinary friends and loved ones. Again, as you read them, ask yourself: Which of these resonated? Which would be hardest? Are there any you would add? Without pressure, invite your trans and nonbinary friends, if they're willing, to help you choose a first step. You can read the full list on pg 208-9 (p. 172 in the 1st ed), but here's a sampling:

• Educate yourself on the basics, and then keep going! Hartke's book is a good start but scholarship is growing– there's always more to learn.

• Always use someone's correct name and pronouns. If you're not sure what pronouns someone uses, just ask. If you make a mistake, apologize, correct yourself and move on—no need to make a big deal. Practice pronouns that are new to you.

• Read the work of transgender educators, theologians, and justice workers (see suggestions in Hartke's book)

• Think about how you use gendered language in your everyday life. Consider moving from gendered greetings like "good morning ladies" to "good morning folks"

• If you hear someone speaking negatively about a transperson because of their gender identity, consider stepping in and explaining why that's not OK.

• Be vocal in your support so people around you know its all right to express their own support or even to come out

• Don't out someone by talking about their trans identity with others

• Get involved in policy change, and stay aware of possible trans-exclusionary laws in your state and local government

• Offer to help transgender people navigate possible unsafe spaces like bathrooms and locker rooms. Sometimes having a buddy with you is the difference tween a fun night out and a trip to hospital

• Donate to organizations that help transgender people get access to affordable medical care, housing, safe jobs and legal advice. Bonus points if the organization is led by trans people.

Suggestions for trans & non-binary folks:

       Hartke concludes on a tender and caring note, with suggestions for trans and non-binary folks to practice self-care:

• Give yourself permission to give and receive love from others, God and yourself, Connect with a community where you can receive love and support.

• Read the Psalms—a prayer book for every possible emotion or experience, to remind you that you're not alone.

• Practice Sabbath—you spend so much time educating others and navigating life. Take time each day to rest, journal, pray, and unplug from the bad news you see on news and social media.

• Find a dialogue partner. Don't get stuck in your own head, find someone to help you think things through and get another perspective. A friend, therapist, spiritual director, pastor, or even a journal. Ask the scary questions.

• Don't be afraid to ask for help. TransLifeline: 877/565-8860 in US and 877/330-6366 in Canada. Also Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org)

       Hartke writes: "So what happens when transgender Christians are able to flourish and find community, and when churches are able to see the gifts that those trans Christians bring? First, the rates of violence against transgender people fall, because Christian groups are no longer advocating trans-exclusionary viewpoints and legislation. Then, the minority stress that transgender people experience weakens, because they live amid a community that supports them spiritually, physically, and emotionally. People who once walked away from Christianity because of the church's negative treatment of LGBTQ+ individuals begin to come back, curious about the way grace is showing up in the midst of resurrected relationships… The church grows, the gospel spreads, kids get to grow up in love and in safety, and justice begins to roll down like water.

       "More importantly, when transgender Christians are accepted and celebrated in Christian communities, the Good Shepherd's flock is put back together, and we once again become more than the sum of our parts. We get a preview of God's kingdom here on earth, and Luke 15 tells us there is rejoicing in heaven. We say yes, individually and communally, to the love of God that seeks to bind us together, and we are transformed."

       And Tara Soughers shares this wisdom: "When I am afraid, or when I am tempted to despair, I look for those whose love of God and love of other people reminds me that the nature of God is love… One day I pray that the world my truly know that we are Christians by our love." 

Resources: 

       Here are some trusted resources as you move forward (found on our haven website as well):

General resources

Glossary of terms: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms

Suicide prevention: The Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org)

Parental support: Serendipitydodah/ MamaBears Facebook page

The Genderbread Person (genderbread.org)

Advocacy: https://pflag.org/

Transgender and Non-binary Gender Identity

Beyond Pink and Blue workshop

Jennifer Finney Boylan: She's Not There: a Life in Two Genders.

SAP Netflix special by Mae Martin

Season 8, episode 5 of Call the Midwife on Netflix on intersex persons

Gender-inclusive pronouns: ttps://uwm.edu/lgbtrc/support/gender-pronouns/

Finding an Affirming Church

https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/

Homework assignment and an invitation

       As we close our time together, we have one final homework assignment—and an invitation. Outline the steps you will take this week to begin implementing a trans-affirming change in your church or individually. Include deadlines, tasks, people to involve, etc. Remember to ask the gender-expansive people in your community to take positions of leadership and to offer feedback if they'd like to, but don't pressure them. Know that these steps can change people's lives and transform your whole community for the better.

       It has been such a joy and privilege to walk with this community the last seven weeks. I would love to continue the journey with you in whatever way is useful for you. Haven offers three workshops throughout the year, we would love for you to join us if you are interested and available—and to spread the word to others you think might be open to them. Each meets on Monday nights via zoom at 7 pm PST. You can sign up a month ahead of each one at havensgv.org.

Inspired: Jan. 20–Mar. 18: Reading the Bible and asking hard questions

When it comes to the Bible, many of us, Christians and atheists alike, have been stuck in a false binary—either it is all literal or it is all make-believe. Some of us have big, big questions about things in the Bible we're afraid to ask. This workshop is about asking the hard questions together. We will be reading Inspired by the late Rachel Held Evans. It's a beautifully written book that will challenge us to go deep, and find new meaning in troubling passages. We will discover new ways to think about, interpret, and read the Bible—ones that help us find the beauty and sacred presence within these ancient stories. I think you'll enjoy Evan's style and honesty– and be inspired to think of faith in new ways. Invite a friend and join us!

Holding Faith/Holding Family: April 1–May 20: LGBTQ inclusion

Many devout Christians struggle to understand their church's position on LGBTQIA+. Their powerful experiences of God's radical love seems inconsistent with the exclusion they have been told the Bible teaches. This struggle is particularly acute for parents and loved ones of queer youth. They may feel torn between two great loves. This workshop will provide resources to consider another perspective, and hope for reconciling this divide.

Blessing

       Madeleine L'Engle wrote “We draw people to Christ not by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it.”

       May you reflect the beautiful light of Jesus' broad and inclusive, boundary-breaking love.

       Loving God, We lift the concerns of our heart, because we know you care about all these things—our communities, our families, our friendships.

       We pray for those who struggle with shame. Who feel they need to hide who they are. Who may not feel safe at school or sometimes even in their own homes. We pray for their protection. We pray for their hearts. We pray that they might know that they are worthy, beautiful, and loved. We pray that we might be someone who shows and reflects that to them.

       As we bring all that we have learned close to our hearts, I ask that you draw near. I pray that our faith may become real as we lean into the truth of who you are.

       In Jesus' name, Amen.

Week 6: Even Jesus Had a Body

The struggle is real

        This week was all about the body in the Bible. Bodies are important to transgender and nonbinary people—the way they look, the way they are perceived. Perhaps one of the gifts that trans and nonbinary inclusion gives us is the way it offers cis-gender folks an opportunity to consider all the complex, complicated feelings we have about being embodied—about living in a physical body.

       We began by talking about the phrase "your body is a temple" and naming the parts of our bodies we like, as well as those we don't like or want to hide. Then Brittany read a selection from She's Not There, by Jennifer Finney Boylan, that talked about her experience growing up as a trans child, feeling she was in the wrong body.

        I struggled with this week's lesson more than most. I didn't disagree with anything in Hartke's book, and yet the discussion just didn't come as smoothly or easily as most. It wasn't until after our group time that it occurred to me that perhaps that's because I haven't resolved all my own feelings about my body. In my life as an academic and a pastor I spend most of my day "in my head." I don't spend much time thinking about or paying attention to my body. It makes me curious about all the complicated feelings we have about our physical bodies, and where that comes from. Is it the result of problematic messages in our culture or from our churches or our parents? What does a healthy theology of the body, the material, look like? Perhaps I'll get that all sorted out by the next time we offer this workshop—or perhaps we spend our whole lives trying to resolve these questions.

Speaking of culture…

      Paul's writings give us some interesting ideas about our bodies. Some of his teachings even seem contradictory at times. Before we dig into those specific passages, it's helpful to look at his culture—the context in which Paul is writing, and how that might impact his view of what it means to be embodied.

       At the time of Paul's writing, we see the very early beginnings of a philosophy called Gnosticism. Gnostics believed that the spirit or soul was good, but the material world, including the body, was evil. As a result, Gnostics would usually fall into one of two extremes: either asceticism– they would deny their body, try to suppress it by ignoring the natural needs for food and rest. Or they would engage in libertine behavior—sexual sins, gluttony, drunkenness etc—because they felt that what they did with their bodies didn't matter, as long as their soul was pure.

       This was quite different from the Jewish context that Paul was raised in. The Hebrews didn't think of humans as divided—we are unified mind, body, soul and spirit. The image of God is woven through it all. So the body is part of who we are—sinner and saint, good and evil.

       Paul's ministry as outlined in the book of Acts moves quickly from one focused on the Jewish community to one that is primarily among Gentiles (non-Jews). So it is perhaps not surprising that we can see the tension between these two very different views of the material world and our physical bodies quite a bit in his writings. And, as I ponder my own complicated relationship with my body, I wonder to what extent those
gnostic assumptions about the material world and bodies in particular are still influencing our culture and even our churches. I wonder how my own spirituality might be transformed by having a more holistic and integrated understanding of body, mind, and spirit.

Another binary?!?  Flesh vs. spirit

       We can see times in Paul's writings where he seems to set up a dichotomy between "flesh" and "spirit" that might echo those gnostic beliefs about the physical world. One such example is found in Romans 8:

       Rom. 8:3-9: For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace… But you are not in the flesh; you are in the Spirit, since the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.

       Another familiar Pauline passage is relevant here: Gal. 3:28: There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

       This is an interesting passage to read in the context of this tension, because it can be read either way. It could be understood as saying that all the physical differences that exist in our bodies, including gender, don't matter. That they are insignificant. Which could be taken as a suggestion that we should stop obsessing over gender and gender expression and focus instead on the "higher things"—the things of the spirit. That could play out by allowing trans and nonbinary persons the freedom to fully express their authentic selves. But it could also be used to suggest trans and nonbinary persons should ignore their physical discomfort and focus instead on "higher things."

       But the context of this passage can be helpful in drawing out Paul's intent:

       Gal. 3:26-29: You are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

       The context of the passage is baptism– our unity in baptism. Baptism is the symbol of inclusion—of being a part of the church, part of Christ. Paul is not saying that our bodies, our unique identities around race and nationality and gender don't matter. He is saying that all these categories of gender and race and status are not barriers to inclusion. This harkens back to the Ethiopian eunuch we looked at last week. The message of both Gal. 3:28 and Acts 8 is that the eunuch's question, "what will prevent me?"—a question rooted in barriers of race, nationality, and gender identity—is answered in God's affirming and inclusive welcome. 

Our bodies are good

       When we look at the entirety of Paul's writings, we find a much different perspective than the apparent dualism of Rom. 8. Paul frequently speaks positively of our embodiment—our existence in physical bodies. In particular, Paul twice uses our physical bodies as a very positive and extended metaphor for the church, which is where we get the phrase "body of Christ" as a synonym for Christian community. In both Rom. 12 and in 1 Cor. 12 he uses this metaphor to describe the beautiful diversity of the church. He talks of the community as a body with very different parts: eyes, ears, feet, arms—even what he calls "unpresentable parts"– which are nonetheless entirely necessary to our health and wellbeing. He emphasizes that each is important and essential, and the body is diminished if it doesn't have the full and complete diversity of all these very different parts.

       And so Paul writes in 1 Cor. 12:18-21: God put all the different parts into one body on purpose. If all the parts were alike, where would the body be? They are, indeed, many different members but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” any more than the head can say to the feet, “I do not need you.”  The extended metaphor concludes so beautifully in vs. 26-27: If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members share its joy. You, then, are the body of Christ, and each of you is a member of it.

       Paul's very use of the metaphor suggests he views the body positively. Our existence in physical bodies is important and meaningful. Paul is arguing in both Rom. 12 and 1 Cor. 12 that the members of the body are all quite different, and yet each is valuable. Note that Paul is not arguing for sameness here, but diversity. Our diversity—of race, of personality, of abilities, of ethnicity, of sexual orientation—and of gender identity and expression—are all part of the body of Christ. He is suggesting that the entire body is lessened or harmed when one part is absent. Next week we will be reminded of this as we look at the unique gift that transgender and nonbinary members bring to our Christian communities. Not only do those individuals suffer when they are excluded or sidelined, but the community itself suffers when one valuable part is missing.      

       Author Wil Gafney writes: "When we come to the table, we dine on love. When we come to that table we are one. Our differences don’t disappear; they bear witness to our love which is not reserved just for folk who are like us. When we get up from our knees, there is a whole wide world that needs that love."

Our bodies are really good—even holy!

       But Paul goes even further than just saying our bodies are good. In 1 Cor. 3:16 and Eph. 2:19-22 he goes beyond that to describe our very bodies as living Temples of God. In Jewish thought, the Temple, and in particular the "holy of Holies" is the very dwelling place of God. So here Paul is saying that because the Holy Spirit lives in us, the Temple of God is people. WE are the dwelling place of God—our very bodies. That's a powerful image! Our bodies themselves are holy.

       Which begs the question: Does the fact that our bodies are Temples of God mean that it is wrong to alter our bodies through gender-confirmation surgery?

       It is worth noting that we don't seem to have this reluctance with other ways of altering our bodies, from ear piercings to cochlear implants and cataract surgery. My granddaughter, Luna, was born with a heart defect—a single ventricle heart. She was created that way—it's the way she was "knit in the womb." But the condition if left untreated is 100% fatal. Without medical intervention, she would have died within the first few weeks of life. But instead, she had three open heart surgeries, beginning on her second day of life. So many, many Christians prayed for her—and today she is healthy and thriving! But no one ever suggested that it was wrong to alter the body she was born with.

       Some might argue "but that was to save her life." But if we remember the stats we looked at before, and the heavy toll of gender dysphoria on some transgender people, we can see that gender-confirmation surgery can also be life-saving.

       So the point is: our bodies matter. 

Jesus had a body 

       Which brings us to a core, central belief of the Christian faith: that Jesus is God with a body. In John 1:14  we read: The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.  For two millennia, Christians have believed that, in the person of Jesus Christ, God has chosen an embodied life, living and experiencing the fullness of humanity in a physical body.

       Hartke quotes Asher, another wise trans Christian: "God coming as a child and then growing up and going through puberty, and having a human life with a human body—I think that declares once and for all unequivocally, undoubtedly, that flesh is hallowed. That our bodies are holy."

       Then, having lived in a physical human body, Jesus dies a physical death. Further, when Jesus rises from the dead, there is still a physicality to it. There are some things about his post-resurrection body that are different. He seems to be able to appear and disappear, to walk thru locked doors. But some things are the same. He can be touched. He eats bread and fish. And, significantly, he still bears the scars of crucifixion.

       Asher writes: "I take great comfort in the fact that when Jesus is resurrected, it's clear that he still has wounds. I mean, I would hope that they weren't painful anymore, but they're still there. It gives me great comfort that he still had scars, because as someone who's dealt with a lot of self-harm I still have a lot of scars, and they're part of who I am now. I wouldn't want them to go away, because they're part of my story." 

What does abundant life look like for trans and nonbinary Christians?  

       Books written by or about queer Christians almost always begin with apologetics– with defending their very experience. And tragically that's necessary, because LGBTQ+ Christians have to combat a long history of Christians coming after them with words and even Bible verses of condemnation. But we lose something when queer Christians have to spend all of their time on defense and are never able to go deeper into the fullness of what life in Christ means for all of us. What does Jesus' promise of abundant life have for transgender Christians?

       Hartke writes: "First, if Jesus came to bring abundant life to all who follow him, that means that transgender Christians should be able to stop spending every single bit of their energy defending themselves against those 'clobber passages' in order to concentrate instead on becoming better disciples. We should be able to move from survival practices to thriving faiths. Jesus didn't come to make things marginally more bearable. He came to give us abundant and eternal life…

       "This is when trans Christians experience life in abundance—when they are welcomed into community; when they are loved for all of who they are; when their differences are respected; when they can count on their community to help with their daily human needs; and when they feel safe enough to drop their defenses in order to take on Jesus' gentle yoke of discipleship."

       May this dream be abundantly true for each of us.

Homework / look ahead at next week:

       As I came to recognize my own ambivalent feelings about my physical body, I've decided to take on a practice given to me by my spiritual director to tune into my body. If, like me, you don't spend a lot of time thinking or paying attention to your physical body, you might want to try it as well as part of this week's homework. Spend some time quietly tuning in to each part of your body. Notice where you are holding tension or pain, emotion or stress. Spend time thinking about how each part of your body—your feet, your arms, your lungs, your eyes—serves you and others. Ask what you can learn from your body. Spend some time noticing and being thankful for the gift each part brings.

       This could be a helpful and healing prelude to this week's homework: For every person you see this week say (silently): you are holy and beautiful. How does it feel to affirm everyone, regardless of their physical appearance or conformity to any perceived standard? And please-- don't forget to say it to yourself in the mirror as well! Let's lean into exploring those complicated feelings about our physical bodies.

       Optional: read Hartke conclusion. Next Monday will be our final session. I'm a bit ambivalent about that. It has been such a joy to hear your stories and see your courage as you've tackled this hard task of loving well. Our final session will focus on next steps: turning the theoretical into the practical.

       Loving Jesus who came and lived among us, who experienced hunger and thirst, joy and pain, Jesus who danced and wept and drank wine and broke bread: Help us to embrace the body you gave us, even as we seek compassion for those whose embodied experience is different from our own.

       We thank you for the feet that carry us to new places and the ears that help us to listen to one another. Thank you for the stories we share. Thank you for our arms that embrace, and our eyes that can see the beauty of the world you created. Thank you for the complexity and wonder of this physical world that you have given us as our home. Amen.

Week 5: The Community that Remembers

We began this week by sharing our experiences with last week's challenge to experiment with thinking about God differently—using feminine or non-gendered images or pronouns to pray or imagine God. We had diverse responses! It was a great exercise in being open to new experiences and new ways of thinking.

       Lina led us in an important guided meditation, using the colors of the rainbow to open our hearts and minds. It was a great way to begin our session in a relaxed and creative way.

Eunuchs in the Bible

       In our reading for this week, Hartke explores several passages that deal with eunuchs. One is an odd, almost offhand reference to eunuchs in Matt. 19:11-12. It's a very cryptic verse that scholars don't really know what to do with.

       The passage begins with a question about divorce, then Jesus responds by quoting the Old Testament: "in the beginning God made them male & female."  We've already addressed that verse from Gen. 1. But, interestingly, this passage follows Glen Stassen's formula for the sermon on the mount we mentioned earlier. The sermon on the mount is also in the book of Matthew, but earlier in ch. 5-7. As we saw earlier, Jesus has a pattern of quoting the Old Testament, showing how this traditional understanding is futile or a vicious cycle, then showing the "transforming initiative" or God's better way.

       We can see that same pattern here in Matt. 19. The Pharisees raise the question of divorce, and Jesus responds in vs. 4-6: “Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’… Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Interestingly, it is not Jesus but the disciples who raise the vicious cycle, objecting in vs. 10 that this teaching is too hard.

       Jesus then responds in Matt. 19:11-12: “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

       It's an odd passage, one that is as confusing to scholars as it is to us. But the way it mirrors the pattern Stassen identifies in the earlier Sermon on the Mount is intriguing. I still don't know what Jesus means here, or how this reference to eunuchs is an answer to the question of divorce. But whatever Jesus means by his reference to eunuchs, it's positive—which means vs. 4 cannot be a denunciation of gender non-conforming folks. It's also interesting that Jesus refers here both to eunuchs who were "born that way" as well as those "made that way by men." Again, it is a confusing and odd passage—but one that seems positive in the way it is describing eunuchs.

       Which is useful for the work we are doing here, because these biblical eunuchs give us a good picture of what it looked like to be gender non-conforming in the ancient world.

       A eunuch was a slave or servant who had been castrated before puberty. They were destined for positions of trust, particularly around women. It was a way to get trusted and non-threatening help in positions of power. Often they were keepers of the king’s harem, specifically because there was no chance that a eunuch would threaten the legitimacy of the royal line. They were allowed into spaces generally off-limits to men because they posed no threat to men or to their paternity.

       Eunchus were allowed into both female-only and male-only spaces, precisely because they weren’t considered men themselves. Most  eunuchs were castrated prior to puberty, meaning they wouldn’t develop secondary sex characteristics like facial hair or a deeper voice, so were visibly different from the people around them. They were often found in positions of influence and power, and yet were usually slaves. Hartke notes: "Many transgender Christians today find themselves in a similar place—living in this in-between space between inclusion and exclusion."

The birth of the queer church: Acts 8:26-39 

       While eunuchs were often given position of trust and responsibility in many places in the middle east, they were often viewed by Jews with suspicion, if not outright disgust. This dichotomy, this tension between "in" and "out," provides the backdrop for a most beautiful eunuch story in the Bible—one that is treasured among the LGBTQ community as the birth story of the queer church.

       The story is found in Acts 8, and begins in vs. 26-29:

       Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.”

       So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians. This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the book of Isaiah the prophet. The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”

       I love this story. I love the way the Spirit leads the way.

       This eunuch was on the road to Gaza—he was returning from Jerusalem. The text says he'd gone there to worship, but quite probably, when he got there he was turned away. Deut. 32:1 states clearly that eunuchs—those who have been castrated—shall not be admitted to the Temple. That harsh rejection is repeated in Lev. 21:20. Eunuchs were "sexual outsiders". They were, both literally and figuratively "cut off."

       Hartke notes that the author (Luke) of Acts 8 "goes out of his way to highlight the fact that it all took place on a wilderness road: "The wilderness is often familiar space for transgender Christians. It's a space that holds our doubts and our questions, and a place where we can pitch our tents when all other doors have been closed to us."

       As we read on in vs. 30-35, Philip approaches the Ethiopian eunuch in his chariot, and asks if he understands what he is reading. The eunuch asks a very apt question: “How can I, unless someone explains it to me?." So Philip joins him in the chariot, where the eunuch shows him the passage he is reading from Isaiah, asking, “About whom, may I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?”

       Verse 35 tells us: Then Philip began to speak, and starting with this scripture, he proclaimed to him the good news about Jesus. 

       Philip may have been miraculously led to this wilderness road, but he doesn't come in hot with his own agenda and prepared evangelistic script. Instead, he lets the Ethiopian eunuch take the lead. Everything that follows—this wonderful, grace-filled conversation—is directed and led by the eunuch and his questions, his concerns.

       Long before Philip shows up on the scene, the eunuch is reading a messianic prophesy from the book of Isaiah.  And so when Philip shows up his first question is: How will I know unless someone guides me?

       Hartke writes: “I recognized the desperation in his words. This person had just traveled all the way from Ethiopia to Jerusalem to worship at the temple, only to find gates and laws barring the way. He'd had to turn around and head home, and it doesn't take much imagination to feel the way he probably felt—frustrated, disappointed, confused, rejected, and alone. He'd already tried reading Scripture for himself, and things hadn't panned out. It's easy to imagine him wondering what he'd done wrong, or what part of Scripture he'd misunderstood.”

       The eunuch's second question is equally poignant:  Who is this man? The Ethiopian eunuch wants to know more about the suffering servant Isaiah describes, because he so identified with him. Hartke reminds us: “The eunuch too had experienced humiliation, specifically in the form of castration, and possibly also in the form of slavery. He had been denied justice as someone whom God invited to worship in the temple, but who was nevertheless barred by human gatekeepers. He must have been asking himself if somehow this passage was about people like him… The eunuch was not asking these questions because he had a vague interest. The eunuch was poring over Scripture and teasing out answers because he had to in order to survive as a gender-nonconforming, racially marginalized, royally subjugated person outside the bounds of the faith he sought to join.”

       Can you relate to that feeling of desperation? Have you ever felt that same urgency when you were searching Scripture for guidance or answers about a personal problem? Have you ever held your breath as you poured over the words of the Bible, waiting to see if they brought condemnation and rejection, or welcome and life?

What will prevent me?

       As the story concludes in Acts 8:36-39, the Ethiopian eunuch's final question is particularly apt: What will prevent me?

       As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. Why shouldn’t I be baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him. When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing.

       As the chariot carrying them draws near a small body of water, the eunuch raises the question of baptism—the sign and symbol of God's grace and love, but also of inclusion in the Christian church. And so the eunuch asks: What will prevent me?

       It's a good question.

       In the ancient world, reproducing and carrying on your legacy was considered of prime importance. So eunuchs, because they were infertile, were considered "cursed."  And yet, the Bible is full of reversals. And here, in this story, we have a reversal most beautiful and profound.

The community that remembers: Isaiah 56:3-5

       It's significant that the eunuch is reading from the book of Isaiah. In the suffering servant passage he is reading, Isaiah is speaking to a people who have been exiled to a foreign land—to Babylon. As Isaiah's prophesy continues, a few chapters later we come to a prophesy of life for Israel after the exile, when they finally return home. 

       It's a prophesy about the new kingdom they will build in Jerusalem, but many Christians believe it is also a prophesy about life in the coming Kingdom that Jesus, the suffering servant, will bring. About the great reversals to come—and the ways the coming of Christ into our world changes things.

       And so the prophet tells us in Isaiah 56:3-5:

       Foreigners who would follow YHWH should not say, “YHWH will surely exclude me from this people.” Nor should the eunuch say, “And I am a dried-up tree.”  For thus says YHWH: “To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath, who choose that which pleases me  and hold fast to my Covenant— to them I will create within my Temple and its walls a memorial, and a name better than that of children and grandchildren. I will give them an everlasting name that will not be excised."

       This is an extraordinary reversal. Being childless in the ancient world was a curse because your name, your life, will be forgotten. Yet the promise in vs. 5 reverses that. The childless eunuchs will be given a monument, a name, an everlasting name even, that will never be cut off.

       Hartke writes: “What God was giving the eunuchs, through Isaiah's proclamation, was not just a place in society, and not just hope for a future. By giving the eunuchs the same kinds of gifts given to Abraham and Sarah—a name, legacy, family, acceptance and blessing—God was consciously associating the two stories in the minds of the people. God was giving the eunuchs a story to connect to—a story that set a precedent, grounded in divine grace.”

       “…through Isaiah God gave me a sense of belonging that I couldn't shake. I believed that by declaring those outside the gender binary to be acceptable, God declared me acceptable… when I read that eunuchs would be made joyful in God's house of prayer, I found myself convinced that transgender people are meant not only to survive in Christian community, but to thrive.”

       “….God did not ask the eunuchs to pour themselves into the mold of Israel's previous societal norms, nor to bend themselves to fit by taking on specifically gendered roles in the current system. Instead, God called for a transformed community that looked like the nothing the people had ever seen.”

       The profound reversal in vs. 5 is one of community. Those who have been “cut off”—both literally and figuratively—are now welcomed in. Walter Bruggemann writes, “The community of Judaism is to be a community that remembers, cherishes, and preserves the name and identity of those otherwise nullified in an uncaring world.”

       We can be that community. We can celebrate and proclaim that the prophesies of Isaiah have been revealed and fulfilled in the person of Jesus Christ. We can be a community that welcomes in all those who have been turned away. 

       The word “evangelism” comes from the Greek word evangel or “good news.” And the news of Jesus that Philip shares is definitely Good News. And yet, for most trans and non-binary folks, the news that they hear from the Christian church is Bad News. It is the Bad News of shame, of exclusion, of having to hide their true selves. 

       The center of the gospel is love. Jesus is opening the door wider and truly welcoming in ALL people without asterisks, exclusions or exceptions. That is Good News. Let us insure that the true Good News of God's great love is heard as loudly and clearly as those who are proclaiming a false gospel of hate.

Homework assignment/ look ahead at next week 

       The Ethiopian eunuch was a multiple minority: he differed from Philip in race, ethnicity, nationality, economic status, and gender identity.

       Make a list of your social and physical identities—where you are on spectrums of age, ability, race, ethnicity, class, education level, language, orientation, and gender. This week practice looking at the spaces you're in (e.g. church, work, shopping) and asking yourself, "is there anyone here who doesn't share my identities?" If you don't see people with different identities in your space, ask yourself what invisible barriers might be at play. Optional: read Hartke ch. 10-12.

       Invitation: one of Haven's most fun and quirky traditions is All Queer Saints Day. We build on the ancient tradition of Nov. 1st as All Saints Day to celebrate all who have followed the example of Philip in this story. All who have opened doors of faith for us, welcoming us in. Haven will host our joyful All Queer Saints Day celebration this Sunday, Nov. 5th at 5:00 pm at Saint Luke's Episcopal Church in Monrovia.

 Loving God,

       We remember with gratitude the people in our lives who opened doors and welcomed us in. Let us follow Philip's example in being people who say yes to the unexpected, ready to go to surprising places and people with a message of hope and inclusion. Let us be a community that welcomes with joy all those who have been turned away.  In the grace of Jesus, Amen.

Week 4: What are God's pronouns?

Opening our hearts 

       This week began with some powerful exercises that helped open our hearts and minds to new ways of experiencing and knowing God, introducing some key themes. We began by reflecting on a 15th c. Orthodox icon by Andrei Rublev. In the Orthodox tradition, this icon would be used for meditation and prayer. We were invited to notice the unexpected ways the Trinity was represented in Rublev's artwork: the figures of the Trinity are androgynous, and sit in a way that emphasizes their equality. The front of the table is open, inviting us in.

       Next we checked in on last week's homework reflecting on your identity as an image-bearer of God. When God calls you by name, what do you imagine God calls you? Our group shared the tender and personal names they heard God calling them.

       Then Brittany led us in a powerful guided meditation in the style of Internal Family Systems (IFS). This entailed identifying the various places within our selves that embody different emotions, agenda, and priorities. It was a helpful reflection that allowed us to recognize the varied emotions that many of us bring to the table when discussing gender identity, including anxiety, sadness or even irritation and anger. Brittany encouraged us to notice and accept all the different parts that this topic brings up with curiosity and gratitude, realizing that these varied parts are all trying to help us. It was a helpful reminder that  we can do hard things, and an affirmation of the courage and empathy that each member of this group brings to our work.

 What's my name again?

       In ch. 6 of his book, Hartke explores a powerful aspect of trans and nonbinary identity: names:  "Names are incredibly powerful things… our first name identities us as an individual, and our last name identifies us as part of a community. For transgender people, names can take on an additional sense of meaning. They become another way in which we express our gender."

       Renaming can be an important part of transgender experience. It builds on a long tradition we see in the Bible as well, when individuals are often renamed to mark a significant transition or change in identity or purpose. In Num. 13 Moses changes the name of Hoshea son of Nun to Joshua. In Matt. 16:15-18 Jesus changes Simon's name to Peter, the Rock. In the book of Acts, we see an apostle change his name from the Hebrew, Saul, to the Greek, Paul, as his ministry extends beyond the Jewish community.

       A particularly significant name change happens in Gen. 32:24-30, where Jacob wrestles throughout the night with an unknown being, leading to this exchange:

       Jacob answered, “I will not let you go until you bless me.”

        “What is your name?” the other asked. “Jacob,” he answered.

        The other said, “Your name will no longer be called ‘Jacob,’ or ‘Heel-Grabber,’ but ‘Israel’—’Overcomer of God’—because you have wrestled with both God and mortals, and you have prevailed.” - Gen. 32:24- 30, the Inclusive Bible 

       Hartke writes: "This imagery— this wrestling with God and humans—is incredibly familiar to transgender Christians who have spent a portion of their life grappling with their faith and their gender. Sometimes we have to fight to have our gender recognized, and sometimes we fight to be seen as Christians, and sometimes it feels as if we're just holding on to God with both hands and refusing to let go until God gives us something. That hunger and thirst for righteousness, for justice, for blessing, and for grace can leave us ecstatic when we finally receive it, but it can also leave us limping."

       Renaming can be hard for friends, family and especially parents. Yet using birth names for transgender persons feels invalidating and hostile. It can be dangerous if it outs someone in an unsafe way or place. But using a person's chosen name is a way to show respect and support. It demonstrates that you believe them to be who they say they are.

       If you've been using someone's birth name or pronouns for some time, it's inevitable you'll make mistakes. It's important not to make a big fuss when that happens, so as not to draw undue attention to the person or to the mistake. Instead, simply apologize, make the correction, and move on. Some tips from the entire group for changing our long-established habits:    

• Practice, practice, practice. Spend time with a friend or loved one every day to practice talking about someone you know with a new name or pronouns, Just share a sentence or two using their proper name and pronouns. Repeat this practice throughout the day when you make a mistake.

• When you meet someone with a new name, make it a point to greet them by name immediately to reinforce the chosen name.

• Imagine a tiny mouse in the person's pocket to naturally refer to "they". Another friend invites us to imagine they are a swarm of buzzing bees.

• Put your own pronouns on your email and zoom profile. When you meet someone new, share your pronouns along with your name. This helps normalize the practice so that it's easier and safer for trans and non-binary friends to share theirs.

• Feel free to ask new acquaintances their pronouns. Include their pronouns next to their name when you add them to your phone contacts so you'll have a regular reminder.

• You might print out pictures with names and pronouns to review daily. If you pray, this can be a reminder to pray for your friend.

       Hartke writes, "using a trans person’s chosen name shows them that you care for and support them, and studies have shown that having a chosen name used at home, at school, at work, or with friends reduced suicidal thoughts in trans youth by 29%." 

Looking at Scripture: the image of God

       We spent the rest of our time returning to last week's discussion of the creation story in Genesis 1. This week we zeroed in on two verses in particular:

        Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, to be like us. Let them be stewards of the fish in the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, the wild animals, and everything that crawls on the ground.” Humankind was created as God’s reflection: in the divine image God created them; female and male, God made them. - Gen. 1:26-27, The Inclusive Bible

       There are several things that stand out as notable in this short passage. First of all, we notice again that both men and women are in the image of God. Interestingly, the Bible itself never defines what that image entails—what exactly is it about humanity that comprises the "image of God"?  Throughout the years, theologians have suggested several theories: 

1.  Some physical characteristic (the Bible speaks of the eye of God, the hand of God)

2.  Some nonphysical characteristic, such as our intellect, moral reasoning or creativity

3.  Some aspect of caretaking, dominion, and responsibility for God's creation, because the text says we are to be stewards.

4.  As we learned last week, complementarians believe we exhibit the image of God through our gender, because "male and female" is emphasized in the text. They believe men and women have separate and unique divinely appointed roles, and you need both men and women together to be the image of God.

5.  20th c. theologian Karl Barth built on the same idea of "man and women" being significant to the image of God, but broadened it to simply suggest community of any gender. Being in the image of God means that we were created for authentic, vulnerable relationships. We need community.

       Because they believe gender is essential to the image of God, complementarians will generally deny that trans and non-binary identities can fully represent the image of God.  Author Tara Soughers responds, "the writers of the first creation story (in Gen. 1) were expressing their belief that both men and women image God, a radical idea in a time when women were often seen as inferior, derivative, or even property. Their insistence upon naming the two genders seems to have been an attempt to expand those who were seen as being made in God's image, not narrow it."

       It's helpful to recognize the Gen. 1 creation story is not the only creation story in the Bible. There are several others, including one in Gen. 2:

         So from the soil YHWH formed all the various wild beasts and all the birds of the air, and brought them to the earth creature to be named. Whatever the earth creature called each one, that became its name. The earth creature gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals. But none of them proved to be a fitting companion, so YHWH made the earth creature fall into a deep sleep, and while it slept, God divided the earth creature in two, then closed up the flesh from its side. YHWH then fashioned the two halves into male and female, and presented them to one another. When the male realized what had happened, he exclaimed, “This time, this is the one! Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh! Now, she will be Woman, and I will be Man, because we are of one flesh!”  - Gen. 2:19-23, The Inclusive Bible 

       Here it's interesting to note that in Gen. 1, gender is a part of the creation of humanity from very beginning. But in Gen. 2, it is an afterthought. One human is created (this translation uses "earth creature" as a more literal translation of the original Hebrew) without mention of gender. The second human is a companion, not because they are female, but because they are another. In fact, Gen. 2 emphasizes not their difference, but rather their sameness:

       Gen. 2:23: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." 

What are God's pronouns?

       When you pray, how do you usually address God? Father, Savior, Spirit, Lord?

       The discussion of the image of God leads naturally into a discussion of the nature of God's own self. Indeed, one of the gifts that non-binary and transgender Christians bring to our community is the way they encourage us to think more broadly about God.

       We are often trained to picture God as male. That's because many of the images for God in the Bible are masculine, especially the image of Father and Son, as well as king. But we have other images as well, including feminine images like a mother hen and a midwife

       Turning again to Gen. 1:26-27, we already noticed that in vs. 27 the image of God is both male and female. We can think about looking into a mirror—the image presented never contains something not present in the real. If we are not wearing a hat when we look in the mirror, our reflection is not going to have a hat. So since an image can't be more than the original, we can conclude that God must be both—or more than—male and female.

       This concept is not as new as it might seem—even for evangelicals. Both mystics and theologians have been emphasizing the "divine feminine" for centuries. One reason for this is that the Hebrew word for the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament, ruach, is feminine. The word for wisdom, Sophia, is also feminine, and often used in the Old Testament to represent the Spirit of God (e.g. Prov. 8).

       We often find it challenging to describe God because God is transcendent—"wholly other." We are limited by our language. But language is fluid. It changes. Now that we have a singular "they/them" pronoun it's easier to talk about God. And so you might notice that surprisingly, that's the pronoun God uses in the Genesis 1 account-- first person plural—we/our. That's because the Hebrew word for God used here, Elohim, is plural.

How does our understanding of God as Trinity influence this?

       For most Christians, the way we imagine and think about God is wrapped up in our understanding of the doctrine of Trinity– the belief that God exists as 3-in-1: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It's part of our most ancient creeds (the Nicene and Apostle's Creeds) and is a foundational belief of most Christian churches. As a Presbyterian pastor, I am a Trinitarian, and hold to that understanding of God. However, exploring how we got the doctrine helps us to use this tool differently, and can open space to begin to imagine God differently. So a little history on the development of this doctrine: 

       The word "trinity" is not found in the Bible, nor is the doctrine as we understand it today ever fully spelled out. Which means the earliest Christians—including the disciples—were not Trinitarians. They believed in God, and Jesus as Savior, but didn't have a fully developed Trinitarian theology. Rather, the doctrine of the Trinity developed over about 300 years of intense debate, especially around Jesus' nature. The process became very political and very dogmatic. Dissent was violently opposed. (One of my non-Trinitarian friends likes to point out that St. Nicholas, our historical antecedent of Santa Claus, punched the non-Trinitarian Arius at the council of Nicea over this matter). Wars were fought. People died. Eventually, the Roman emperor Constantine settled it as a political matter.

       And yet, the desire to understand God was and is important. Theology matters. It changes things. And I believe God wants to be known. The care and effort they took to understand God's nature and being was important and worthy, but their violent means and dogmatic stance were not.

       The language the early church finally arrived at to describe the Trinity—Father, Son and Spirit—emphasized relationship. The early church fathers used a metaphor that was easily relatable. It is a helpful metaphor to understand a deep and complex mystery.

       And yet, Father, Son and Spirit IS a metaphor. There are many other metaphors for God in the Bible. Its important to remember that and the limitations of metaphor. Some of the feminine metaphors for God in the Bible include:

• Birthing: Deut. 32:18; Is. 46:3-4; John 16:21; Rom. 8:22; and Job 38:8, 29.

• Nursing mother: Num. 11:12; Ps. 131:2-2; John 7:38; 1 Pet. 2:2-3; and Is. 49:15.

• Mother bird: Deut. 32:11-12; Ps. 17:8; and Luke 13:34. 

• Woman with a lost coin: Luke 15:8-9.

• Midwife: Psalm 22:9-11 and Psalm 71:6. 

       Even after the Trinitarian image was established as doctrine, there were intense debates about the interrelationships within the metaphor. The Eastern and Western church split over this. The three terms of Father, Son and Spirit implied a hierarchy within the Trinity. As women were given a voice in the church, concerns about the gendered nature of the metaphor were raised.

       Traditional theologians tend to argue against feminine images and pronouns for God by saying God is not gendered. But that begs the question: if God is not gendered then why do we need to use gendered terms to describe the Trinity?

        The early Christians struggled to understand how the three persons of the Trinity interrelated. They understood this is immensely important to how we live as Christians—how we imitate Christ. Southers writes: "They were trying to craft a new understanding of God, a more complex God… The compromises they made in their language were carefully crafted… However, language, no matter how carefully crafted, is always imprecise, particularly about subjects such as God and relationships within the Godhead."

       Thinking about God in new ways—using different language and metaphors and pronouns for God—can feel jarring at first. It can be uncomfortable. But it can also open something up for us. They can help us to experience God in new ways.

       Soughers advocates returning to a multitude of names for God. She particularly likes the names suggested by theologian  Linn Marie Tonstad, "The Spirit is the Power of God, the Son is the Glory of God, and the Father is the Name of God, which is love."

       Similarly, an ancient non-gendered way to describe God is the lover, the beloved, and the love between them. Other theologians use a more traditional, but still non-gendered rubric that I like and have used: Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer.

       When it comes to divine pronouns, I will share the practice I'm trying to lean into and be consistent in. But I stress, this comes not from Jesus, but is just one way to go that I personally have arrived at:

       When speaking of God the creator or the entire Trinity: I use they/them

       For Jesus the Redeemer: I use he/him (because Jesus presented as male)

       For the Holy Spirit: I use she/her (because the biblical words for the Spirit are feminine)

       This is not dogma, but something we can explore and experiment with. For your homework this week, I'm going to ask you to do that!

       Southers reminds us of how our picture and language about God can shape the way we think about trans and nonbinary inclusion: "If God is non-binary, it is hardly surprising that those made in God's image and likeness do not fall neatly into the binary categories that we use to make sense of our world. Here lies the basis for a theology for trans allies: the simple acknowledgement, present throughout Christian history, that God is three or one, but never two, challenges all of the binaries that human beings are so fond of creating… If we approach describing God with humility, perhaps we ought to approach describing those made in the image and likeness of God with humility as well." 

Homework assignment/ look ahead at next week

       This week's homework assignment (set by me this time, so I'll take the heat!) may be challenging for some. Please see it as an experiment—something to try without pressure or judgment. Experiment with praying or thinking about God differently. Choose a different image for God—either a feminine one or a nongendered one—to address God. You might try mother, grandmother, friend, or ally. Journal some thoughts about God using "she" or "they", or rewrite some Scripture passages using diverse pronouns or images for God. Give yourself permission to be a bit playful and imaginative with it. Then, as Brittany suggested, observe your response with gentle curiosity. Journal your reaction, remembering there are no wrong answers! Just notice how it feels, and any new insights you may or may not experience of God.

        Optional: read Hartke ch. 7-9.  Bonus: listen to my sermon on the Ethiopian eunuch on the Haven website ("crossing boundaries" under videos at havensgv.org.)

Mother God,

       Our words and images can never be enough to explain the mystery of your love. You are gentle like a mother bird and strong like a woman in labor. You come alongside us as a midwife, bringing new life. You tenderly care for us like a nursing mom. Like a woman searching for a lost coin, you never stop pursuing us. Let these amazing truths sink into our hearts today, unfolding for us new awareness and deepening our love for you. Amen.

Week 3: Would you rather?

       Have you ever played Zobmondo? It's a game that gives you a couple of options—just two—to choose from. You will be invited to consider things like: Would you rather be a giant hamster… or a tiny rhino? Would you rather be able to see one year into the future… or change one thing in your past? Would you rather drink an entire bowl of gravy… or have a large spider trapped in your hair?

       The game is full of binaries—as if there were only two options—hamster or rhino—and no others. That set the stage for this week's discussion. But first, Lina led us in a guided meditation that encouraged us to imagine an alternative universe where cisgender heterosexual folks were a marginalized minority. We explored together the emotional landscape of feeling powerless, shamed, and maligned.

Why are some people transgender?

       This led into an exploration of the question: Why are some people transgender? In ch. 3 of Hartke's book, he explores three views, three ways Christians and others approach the question. How we answer that question then becomes the lens or framework around which we interpret all of the data and biblical passages we will explore in this workshop. The three broad views are:

1.  Integrity framework (sin): This is the view held by those who follow complementarianism—the notion that there are distinctly masculine and feminine roles ordained by God. In this view, transgender people should see their experience as a "trial" or cross they should bear.

       Hartke provides some counter-evidence to refute this view. For example, the brains of transgender men are more similar to cisgender men than to cisgender women, and vice-versa—even before hormone therapy. It seems our brains most closely relate to our gender identity.

       Hartke notes that this perspective often leads to shame or self-hatred. Complementarianism is associated with Gender Identity Change Efforts (GICE), or conversion therapy. Trans people exposed to GICE are twice as likely to take their own lives, four times as likely if the GICE takes place before the person is 10 years old.

2.  Disability framework (sickness): The view holds that trans individuals are struggling with a mental health concern, not a moral one. They didn't choose it.

       This view is often advocated in the hopes it will lead Christians to be more compassionate in their response. But it is still driven by the assumption that there are distinct male and female genders mandated by God.

       Proponents of this view might point to the fact that suicide and depression rates are very high among the transgender community. But that tragic reality seems to be the result of oppression and exclusion, rather than inherent to the experience itself. Minority stress is the term given to the experience of many marginalized communities, not just LGBTQ, who experience discrimination, hatred, and threats of violence. Hartke notes that trans and nonbinary individuals who are not rejected are far less likely to experience depression.

3.  Diversity framework (specialty): This perspective celebrates transgender identities as expressions of diversity, a natural variation just like all the diversity of gender found in the natural world.

       Throughout creation, all kinds of plants and animals can switch back and forth between genders.  Bluehead wrasse is a type of fish that appears to have three different sexes, and can change between the three at different stages of life.

       The results of this view are dramatically different. The diversity framework has been shown to have significantly reduced rates of depression and anxiety.

       As we continue the study, keep these three categories in mind as we examine the assumptions about transgender experience which shape our perception. We are encouraged to ask ourselves which framework best fits the data? What is the fruit of each of these frameworks?

Looking at Scripture and the Old Testament Law

       We're going to spend the majority of our time from here on out in Scripture. We have a range of views in this group about the Bible, but for most it is a central and important source of authority. For many Christians, it's the barrier to full inclusion. I want to take those concerns seriously. 

       There are only two verses that  directly address gender identity. The first is  a particularly harsh denunciation found in the Old Testament law: Deut. 22:5: A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

       Deut. 22: 5 is indicative of a larger problem Christians—who generally hold the whole Bible as authoritative—have grappling with their relationship to the Old Testament Law. It's full of some very odd rules—many of which very few Christians follow today. Most have to do with blood including menstruation, with food, or with "mixing" things like crops or fibers. Christians struggle with which of these rules they are supposed to follow. In Acts 10, Peter is explicitly called by God to reject the OT rules about food, being told “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” So clearly some of the rules are not for us today.

       Pastors and theologians have attempted time and again to find a way to differentiate which rules are binding for Christians today and which aren't. They will distinguish between a "moral code" versus a "cultural (or purity) code." But the fact is, the two are intermingled throughout the book. The rules Christians think are “cultural” are placed right alongside the ones we think are “essential”—with no clear distinction.

       It's helpful to remember that these laws were written to a people (the Hebrew community) coming out of slavery in Egypt, where they had no freedom—every aspect of their lives dictated by their oppressors. They are learning how to form a community of free people. And they are entering into the Promised Land—Canaan. But there were already people living in that land: Canaanites, Philistines. (The fact that they are displacing another people group raises other theological problems– but that's a discussion for our next workshop, Inspired). The Levitical law was about being set apart from the people in Egypt and Canaan. The rules are making them distinct, different. They highlight how Yahweh is calling them to a distinctive way of life.

       A lot of Jesus' teachings have to do with establishing a new relationship with the OT Law. An excellent resource is Glen Stassen's book, Living the Sermon on the Mount. In it, Stassen shows how Jesus didn't come to abolish the law, but to show us it's intent (Matt. 5:17). In the sermon on the mount, Jesus spends three chapters (Matt. 5-7) exploring this relationship. He gives example after example, with each one following the same pattern:

       1. Jesus begins by quoting an Old Testament law, often introduced by the phrase, “you have heard it said.”

       2. He shows how interpreting that law or rule literally is fruitless—a vicious cycle.

       3. Jesus then shows us God's better way: how focusing on the heart—inner transformation of our attitudes, rather than rigid adherence to external laws—leads to freedom.

       Unfortunately, Deut. 22:5 is not one of the examples Jesus chooses to focus on in the sermon. But we can ponder what this same pattern might look like when applied to this particular law. How might a focus on internal heart change over external obedience help us in interpreting Deut. 22:5?

Why we love binaries

       Our brains are designed to categorize things quickly—its an adaptive skill. From the earliest age we begin to notice similarities and sort the world into categories. Gender is one of those things we begin to sort out early on, with certain culturally determined cues to help us quickly categorize boy or girl. It's an important part of understanding the world and learning language.

       But it's important to become aware of the assumptions we are making along the way. Labels can be helpful and healing—if they help us feel less alone or to get help. But they can be constricting and harmful if they keep us stuck or “othered.”

       The urge to label and categorize things is a natural one. This is why we look at the world and see a binary—male and female. We are quickly categorizing things, without noting the exceptions. Yet throughout history there have been people who fall between the binaries. 

Does Gen 1 teach a gender binary? 

       Our urge to make sense of the world, to bring order out of chaos, is found even in the very first chapter of Scripture itself: 

       Then God said, “Light: Be!” and light was. God saw that light was good, and God separated light from darkness. God called the light “Day” and the darkness “Night.” Evening came, and morning followed—the first day. Then God said, “Now, make an expanse between the waters! Separate water from water!” So it was: God made the expanse and separated the water above the expanse from the water below it. God called the expanse “Sky.” Evening came, and morning followed—the second day. Then God said, “Waters under the sky: be gathered into one place! Dry ground: appear!” So it was. God called the dry ground “Earth” and the gathering of the waters “Sea.” And God saw that this was good.

       …Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, to be like us. Let them be stewards of the fish in the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, the wild animals, and everything that crawls on the ground.” Humankind was created as God’s reflection: in the divine image God created them; female and male, God made them. –Gen. 1:3-10, 26-27, The Inclusive Bible. 

       Here we see that the creation account contains many pairs that seem like binaries— dark/light; day/night, sky/sea, dry land/water. Yet each of these binaries is, in fact, not a binary but rather polarities. They describe two endpoints on a continuum. We have dark and light—but we also have twilight, dawn, all sorts of times when light is dim. We have day and night—but all sorts of times between noon and midnight—evening, morning, etc. We have dry land and sea but also have swamps and bogs and wetlands.  It's a figure of speech called a “merism.” It's similar to the phrase “I searched high and low.”  We know that doesn't mean your search ignored everything at eye level, but rather is a figure of speech to outline the broad scope of your search. In the same way, as the science has shown us, male and female are not binary, but rather two endpoints in a continuum of gender identity and gender expression.

       Tara Soughers writes, “Binary pairs are useful for simplifying the large amounts of information we are required to process. It's developmentally appropriate for young children to think in binary terms… (but) most of us have learned that binaries are limiting and in many cases are inadequate to describe the world around us.

       “However, there are some binaries that seem to be difficult for us to let go of. Often, these are categories around identity: who is who, and how different groups are valued… these binaries are much harder for us to ignore, as they serve to mark the boundaries between those who are like us and those who are not. Marketing, politics, and the legal system all tend to reinforce these markers of identity, privileging some at the expense of others. While many people fall between the extremes, we often act as if there is an obvious dividing line.” 

       We can identify so many places where we see this at work—where we categorize people into binary categories of white or black, immigrant or native born, rich or poor, conservative or liberal. This tendency to think in binaries, especially with groups of people— to divide into "us" and "them", appears to be hard-wired in us. It feels unified because it reinforces group identity. We feel less alone as we are part of a group of people who are "like us." It is comfortable.

       But the irony is obvious: we may feel unified when we are surrounded by “us,” but the fact is, that tendency to categorize only leads to greater division and hatred. So one of the gifts of trans and nonbinary inclusion is that it pushes us to think beyond us and them. We'll see more of the gifts of inclusion in a later session. 

       Soughers writes: “We learn from this that "human beings are complicated. We often try to make things simple—either/or-- but humans rarely fit neatly into binary categories. In creating human nature, God seems to have delighted in complexity rather than simplicity…

       “Perhaps the whole idea of binaries—either/or categories—is not something God created, but something humans created to make the world a more comprehensible place. The trouble with making things more comprehensible, however, is that in doing so, we often ignore people or things that do not it into our preconceived ideas.

       “When we find examples that do not fit our neatly defined categories, we have a choice: we can broaden our definitions in order to include the new examples, or we can exclude those things or creatures that do not quite fit. While categorizing is a powerful tool for organizing information, it is only partially useful in describing our world, for the world contains a variety of things that do not fit neatly in our categories.”      

       Our experience in the world and in creation is that our gender identity does seems to be innate—something God created—including people who don't fit the gender binary. Returning to our creation story, Gen. 1:31 concludes the chapter by proclaiming that God saw all that was made, and it was very good. Let us lean into the goodness of God's diverse and beautiful creation!

Homework assignment/ look ahead at next week 

Hartke encourages us to spend time this week in prayer, reflecting on your identity as an image-bearer of God. When God calls you by name, what do you imagine God calls you? Is it your first name, or a name that describes you on a deeper level? Allow yourself to wonder what name or term of endearment God might want to give you to honor a particular trait you possess or transformation you've experienced. Optional: read Hartke ch. 6.

God of endless wonder,

       The world you created is incredible. The vastness of the universe, the diversity of life itself. We are amazed. And of all the complex and wonderful things you have created, perhaps people are the most incredible.

       Forgive us for the urge to tame all this overwhelming complexity into bite-size pieces. Forgive us for thinking we can create artificial barriers between "us" and "them". Help us instead to simply marvel at the wildness and beauty of all you have created. Amen.

Welcome to the Workshop

Trans-forming: Holding Faith in a Non-Binary God

Week 1: Welcome

Pastor Vikki Randall, DMin.

       Welcome! Our first week of Trans-forming is all about creating welcome. We have a diverse group, each with their own story. This week we got a glimpse of your hearts, what motivates you to dig deeper. So today I celebrate the courageous first step.

       Our desire at Haven is to be a safe space. It's a safe space for gay, lesbian, bi, transgender and queer folks. But it is also safe space for people who are conflicted about all those things. People who are not sure what they think. Many, but not all, who join us come from evangelical settings, places that don't affirm those things. But regardless of how we got here, all of us have had a journey and are still on a journey. We want to make this a safe space to ask questions, have strong convictions or to be uncertain. Free to not know everything.

       Joining me in leading the workshop are two remarkable members of our Haven leadership team: Brittany Burian and Lina Myvold. Both are LMFTs with years of experience helping individuals and families navigate shifting waters of change.

       We'll do a lot of sharing in both large and small groups. Please know that everything shared here is to be kept confidential. Sharing is an invitation to authenticity, but it is always optional. In this workshop you will be invited to share on chat or out loud or not at all, as deeply or as shallowly as you wish.

       Questions are encouraged! You can ask questions as they come up or email me privately if you don't want to share with the whole group. We'll try to address as many questions as possible thru our time together. Remember, though, that there is always a range of beliefs—in this group, in Christianity, in our community. I don't have all the answers. I'll share what I can, and provide resources when I can find them. And we can be a resource for one another.

Listening Deeply

        This is a workshop for trans allies and wannabe allies. We have a number of trans and non-binary leaders in Haven. We treasure their voices and the contributions they make to our community. But this workshop is for allies.  It is our job, as allies, to learn, listen and grow.

       And yet, hearing trans and non-binary voices is so very important to this work. That begins, of course with your transgender and non-binary friends and family. When they choose to share their story with you—please listen. Believe them. Thank them for trusting you with their story.

       It is often said that "if you know one transgender person, you know one transgender person." Each has their own unique experience and perspectives. In our workshop we will have the opportunity to hear several of those voices. The main text we will use beautifully weaves together the voices of five transgender Christians. We will bring in additional voices each week in the form of readings, videos, and other media. This first week, Brittany began our time by reading a beautiful chapter from Untamed by Glennon Doyle that introduced some of those thoughts and voices.

Why We Gather

       The work we will do together is important. It is, in fact, life-and-death. The 2014 National Transgender Discrimination Survey found that 90% of transgender and non-binary persons have experienced discrimination or harassment at work; 26% have been fired for who they are. Tragically, 57% experience significant family rejection, with19% becoming homeless due to their gender identity. Transpeople experience disproportionate rates of poverty, job discrimination, bullying in school and harassment by law enforcement.  

       In 2020, 44 transgender people were murdered in the US, 375 worldwide. The majority of these deaths were women of color, experiencing the triple impact of sexism, transphobia, racism.

       The end result of all this is tragic. We learn that 41% of trans persons attempted suicide in the last year (compared with only 1.5% of the general population). This does not appear to be a result of anything inherent to gender identity itself, bur rather the result of what has been called "minority stress."  Minority stress is the shared experience of anyone in a marginalized community, living in a hostile environment of rejection and  physical or emotional violence.  This constant stress can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse and suicidal thoughts and actions.

       That's sobering. It is heartbreaking. But there is hope.

       Transgender and non-binary youth who reported having at least one gender-affirming space had 25% reduced odds of reporting a suicide attempt in the past year. The impact of just once space, one relationship—a parent, a teacher, a pastor, a friend—can turn around these heartbreaking statistics. So a compelling reason for churches, families and communities to have these discussions is that it is literally-life saving. (Stats drawn from Austen Hartke, Matthew Vines, and The Trevor Project)

Why is this happening now?

        To many, discussion of gender identity and diversity seems to have come out of nowhere. It can feel confusing and overwhelming.  Earlier this year, Time magazine published a report entitled: How Gen Z Changed its Views on Gender, exploring stark generational differences when it comes to gender identity. They found that Gen Z young adults are much more likely to report identifying as either trans or non-binary than other generations. While only 1 out of 1,000 Boomers report they are transgender (one-tenth of 1%), 23 out of 1,000 Gen Z young adults (2.30%) identify as trans—20 times more.

       Fewer than 1% of Boomers identify as non-binary (we'll start breaking down these terms next week), compared to more than 3% of Gen Z young adults. That means 1 out of 18 young adults identified as something other than male or female in 2021 and 2022, representing about 2 million young adults.

       This significant generational shift can make it feel like gender diversity is a new thing. But, as we'll see, gender diversity has always existed. It is found to an incredible degree among the animal kingdom, with some truly remarkable variations that are anything but binary. And it has always existed in human societies. We have always had gender diverse people in our communities, with many cultures recognizing and celebrating "two spirit" people.

       And yet, as the Time article suggested, for boomers and other older folks (I'm a bottom-of-the-baby-boomer) it seems like its rising now. But as we look at all of the data from biology and anthropology, I would conclude that is not actually more prevalent but is becoming more visible for several reasons:

1.  As we've become more knowledgeable about gender identity, people have a name for what they are experiencing.

2.  For that reason, to some degree it's become more acceptable and easier to come out. But it's very important to recognize that there's significant backlash to this generational shift, leaving many transgender and non-binary persons under attack.

3.  The rise of puberty blockers has pushed the question earlier. This is a vital tool, which allows youth who are experiencing gender dysphoria the ability to put a pause on puberty and the development of secondary sex characteristics.

Resources

        We will be bringing in a number of resources for this workshop. Two in particular are Transforming: by Austen Hartke and Beyond a Binary God: A Theology for Trans Allies by Tara Soughers.

       What I love about Austen's book:

1.  it has beautiful theology—he is a biblical scholar, and it shows. He digs deep.

2.  He shares his own story, but those of other trans Christians as well. 

3.  Austen is wise in looking at the big picture. Transgender Christians are more than just their gender identity. He helps us move on to abundant life. 

       We will cover 2-3 short chapters of Hartke's book each week. While it's helpful to read along, it's not required-- I will summarize. We will read slightly out of order so watch the schedule.

       But what I will urge you to do is pay attention to the homework assignments—ways to put what you're learning in action. All but one were written by the author. They are simple, and will take less than an hour a week, but will be so helpful in moving forward as a trans ally. I also recommend that you set aside a regular time each week for reflection, in whatever way you do this best—whether that's journaling, going for a walk, or talking over what you're learning with a friend or partner.

       I will bring in selections from Soughers book throughout the workshop, especially in week 4. I appreciate her work because she is respectful of the trans community, but doesn't "cis-splain"—she doesn't try to speak for trans and non-binary Christians. She gives those of us for whom this is very new a space to learn, grow, and question. She reminds us that cis-gender Christians have much we can gain for ourselves by including transgender Christians. We need each other

       As we think about beginning this study as trans allies, I love this description from Soughers: "Trans people do not represent disruptions of our community life, but are, instead, gifts from our gracious God that open us to new understandings—not only about human nature, but also about the nature of God, in whose image we are made.  Our challenge is to accept and to be thankful for the gifts our trans members bring our communities—gifts that, like all of God's gifts, require us to grow in ways that may not be easy or comfortable."

Looking at Scripture

       We will spend time each week looking at Scripture together. For most of us, the Bible is a source of authority—a place we turn to for truth and for guidance. And yet, even devout Christians have a range of views of the Bible. Some believe every word is literally the words of God's own self. Some feel the Bible is a book written by men (and perhaps a woman or two) a long time ago, mainly of historical interest. In between those extremes are a range of more nuanced beliefs— the Bible is inspired by God in a way that the words of humans are intermingled with a movement of God's Spirit, or that the Bible is the best picture we have of God.  All of these views co-exist within modern as well as historic Christianity. The diverse range of views within this group will be a strength that helps us to think more deeply about what we believe and why. 

       One passage that is often used as a "clobber verse" to denounce or challenge transgender Christians is Psalm 139:

       You created my inmost being and stitched me together in my mother’s womb.  For all these mysteries I thank you— for the wonder of myself, for the wonder of your works— my soul knows it well. My frame was not hidden from you while I was being made in that secret place, knitted together in the depths of the earth;  your eyes saw my body even there. All of my days were written in your book, all of them planned before even the first of them came to be.  - Psalm 139:13-16: (Inclusive Bible)

       Austen  Hartke reports that the question he is asked most frequently is: "Did God make a mistake?".  The suggestion is that by expressing a gender identity different than the one assigned at birth, trans and non-binary Christians are somehow defying God's creation. Here's how Hartke and other trans Christians respond:

1.  Austen: "I don't believe God made a mistake in creating me just as I am… God also created me with a capacity for change with a mind that identifies as male. I believe God made all of me—gender identity included—and intended for me to be a transgender person who sees the world thru a different lens. I don't think God made a mistake. I think God made me transgender on purpose."

2.  M: "If there's a mistake at all, it's that we've created this understanding of gender that is so deeply limiting of God's creation. That's the mistake. We've always been diverse people."

3.  Lawrence: "God created us with the ability to be creators… If we aren't taking part in that creative process, then we're going against our very created nature."

4.  River: God doesn't make mistakes; she just makes things easier or a bit more difficult to find. Transitioning doesn't mean that God made a mistake. Just that I need to work a bit harder to find the fullness of life God has for me."

5.  Asher: "I think God knit me together in my mother's womb but has also been knitting me together every day since. I think God knit together my body and my identity. I'm not just a woman. I'm not just a man. I'm transgender. That's what God intended."

       I'm looking forward to exploring these perspectives with our amazing group in the weeks to come!

Lord, help us to listen. To celebrate diversity in all the ways you have created us. To lean in and hear one another's stories. Thank you for the beauty of this community. Amen.

Homework / looking ahead

This week Hartke sets before us an easy but enlightening challenge:  Spend some time this week looking at some church websites in your area. Pay attention to their introductions and language of welcome. List those that are explicit in inclusion, those that are vague, those that are excluding. Think about how you would feel as a transperson looking at those websites. Spend some time reflecting on what you observe in a journal or conversation with a friend.

Optional: read ch. 1, 2 and 5 of Hartke

Week 2: Defining Our Terms

Setting the Table

        If last week was all about welcome, this week was about setting the table. Creating a common language that will help us move toward productive and healing conversations about gender identity.

       We began by sharing our experiences of "handedness"— knowing which is your dominant hand. We realized that none of us can remember a time when we didn't "just know" if we were left handed or right handed. It wasn't something we chose, but something that was always there. The experiences of lefties in a right-handed world in particularly helpful. Those who had to use their non-dominant hand for a task due to injury were able to share what that was like—awkward, uncomfortable, ineffective.

       This analogy is helpful as we think about gender identity as something not chosen, but discovered. We were able to begin to imagine the experience of being asked to express or own a gender that is not what you know yourself to be.

        We also spent time checking in on last week's homework: looking at church websites to record whether they were explicit about inclusion, vague, or explicit about exclusion. We were able to find quite a few examples of each. It was a helpful reminder that most people will check a website for exactly these sorts of statements before visiting a church. For LGBTQ Christians in particular, the experience of attending churches that will have a statement like "everyone is welcome!" only to discover the offer comes with certain conditions and exclusions, is a reason to avoid the sorts of vague statements the majority of churches posted. Being explicit, making clear that our welcome applies to everyone, is an important way we create safe space for all God's children.

       We looked at the role Christian organizations have played in advancing trans-exclusionary bills to understand why they are proliferating at this particular point in time. We could understand why so many (24%) of queer Christians have left their religious tradition due to these negative messages. And yet, half of all queer adults claim a religious affiliation, 17% claim religion is very important in their lives.

       Austen Hartke writes: "Christianity has been dominated by the voices of those who speak out against the existence, the well-being, and the humanity of transgender people… But this is also where God begins to bring life out of death because although religious affiliation in families has been connected to rejection of LGBTQ children, faith can also be one of the larger contributors to well-being in youth if their religious community supports them.

The Beginner’s Guide to Gender:

       Tara Soughers writes: "For most groups who are in the minority, how they are named is an issue. It is those who have power In society who often assert the right to apply names—and while some groups may proudly take on the negative names and claim them as their own, most argue for the right to name themselves. This is certainly true for the trans community."

       That’s what chapter two of Hartke's book is all about: getting us on the same page and speaking the same language, so that we can have the deeper conversations. Hartke begins with two really helpful general rules about language in LGBTQ+ communities:

       #1. There’s a huge variety in the way LGBTQ+ people describe who they are. While we might wish for set, clear definitions for words that are the same always and forever, that's just not the way language works. One of the reasons why there is a second edition of Hartke's book was the need, only five years later, to update terms and definitions that shift over time. We similarly need to be open to correction and to change the terms we use as needed.

       #2. Always prioritize the definition given by the person standing in front of you. That person understands their own identity better than anyone else. It is an act of love and respect to listen and believe them when they tell you who they are.

       Having set the table, we spent the remainder of our time discussing the terms and definitions Hartke outlines in the book. The group had lots of good, clarifying questions! We love that—keep asking the good questions and the hard questions.

       Here's the terms Hartke sets forth and explains in detail in ch. 2 of Transforming:

        1.  The difference between gender and orientation: "Your sexual or affectional orientation is about whom you are sexually and romantically attracted to… Orientation and gender are two separate things and being gay does not lead to being transgender… Although these two things aren’t the same, they can sometimes intersect."

2.  Gender is biopsychosocial: it  has elements that have to do with our biology, our psychology, and parts that are socially constructed, all of which interact with each other.

2. a. The biological part has to do with your body, and is often referred to as your assigned sex, or sex assigned at birth.

         If a person’s physical characteristics are easy to classify as either male or female, we say that person is endosex. Some people (about 1%-- the same number of redheads in the world) are intersex. They have differences in their reproductive organs, chromosomes, or ability to produce or receive gender-related hormones.

2b. The psychological part of gender is your gender identity– your internal sense of being male, female, both, or neither. Most, but not all, people have that internal awareness. As with handedness, we don’t choose our gender identity, we discover it. This internal awareness happens in the brain, which makes it both biological and psychological. Gender identity can’t be changed by other people, so attempts at “conversion therapy,” or Gender Identity Change Efforts (GICE), do not work. In fact, they can cause incredible harm. 

2c. The sociological part of gender is both individual and communal: Individually, each person has a gender expression, which has to do with the way you act out gender. It might be shown, for example, in clothing, hair, voice, or mannerisms. "We may try to match our gender expression to our gender identity as closely as we can… Or we may be a little more playful with it."

        It's important to remember that sometimes context and cultural norms impact our gender expression as well. That's the communal aspect. Social norms determine what gender is associated with these choices of clothing, hair style, etc. Those norms vary greatly in different cultures. Sometimes external forces may restrict or dictate one's gender expression, so it’s important to avoid making assumptions about someone’s gender identity based on their gender expression.     

3. "In the United States we tend to adhere to the gender binary, a social system in which it is assumed that all people can be divided into one of two genders…  Gender roles have been broken down considerably in the past hundred years… but gender roles are still enforced in many other ways. It’s important to note that while the gender binary and male and female gender roles are the norm in white, Western contexts, other cultures around the world may distinguish between up to seven different genders, and therefore may have as many different  gender roles."

4.  A transgender person is "someone whose gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth… 'trans' or 'transgender' is often used as an all-encompassing term to cover many different kinds of gender-expansive identities, 'Transgender' is generally used as an adjective, or a descriptive word. So in a sentence you’d say, 'Mary is a transgender woman,' not 'Mary is a transgender,' or 'Mary is transgendered.'

       "There are also some people who prefer to highlight their specific gender identity first, before connecting it to transness, and so you might hear someone refer to themself as 'a woman of trans experience' or 'a man of trans experience.'”

5.  Some trans people refer to themselves as “transsexual,” but it's an older term not used by most young people, who may find the term offensive. So again we're reminded of our second general rule: prioritize the language used by the person in front of you.

6. A cisgender person is "someone whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth… A cisgender person may express themself in ways that aren’t typical for their gender, but their gender identity and assigned sex are not incongruent."     

7. People who dress or act differently than the typical norms for their assigned sex in their particular culture can be called gender-nonconforming or gender-expansive. "Gender-expansive people, through their very existence, tend to broaden their culture’s gender norms. However, someone expressing their gender differently doesn’t necessarily mean they’re transgender."

8. Gender dysphoria is "the sense of incongruence, anxiety, dissonance, or distress that can be caused by the conflict between a person’s gender identity and their assigned sex. Not all transgender people experience dysphoria, but it is common…

      For some transgender people, gender dysphoria is just an occasional nudge in the back of their mind, but for others it can be completely debilitating."

9. Transition "can include a variety of processes by which a person achieves congruence and alignment of all aspects of their gender.“ In the past this has been described as a "sex change” but that's not the best descriptor, given the many different types of transition:

9a. Social transition "can include things like changing clothing, hairstyle, name, and/or the pronouns you use."

9b. Medical transition "can include things like hormone replacement therapy and different kinds of gender-affirming surgeries."

9c.  Legal transition "covers things like changing your name and/or gender marker on documents like a driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate."

        "Not all trans people transition—sometimes because they don’t find it necessary to change these things in order to be themselves; sometimes because they don’t have the money to access medical and legal transition… and sometimes because health conditions or safety concerns make specific kinds of transition impossible for the moment… someone’s ability or desire to transition does not make them any more or less trans."

10. A nonbinary person is "someone who isn’t either a man or a woman, and who instead has a gender identity that’s between or beyond those definitions… the acronym 'NB' or the phonetic spelling 'enby' is a shortened version of 'nonbinary.'”

      Both transgender and nonbinary have been used as umbrella terms. Trans can  cover anyone with a gender identity different than their assigned sex. Nonbinary can include anyone whose gender identity doesn’t fit their culture’s definitions of either man or woman.

10a. There are agender people—who "may not have a sense of gender identity at all, or who may understand it cognitively but not experience it themselves."

10b. There are also bigender and pangender people who are "more than just one gender, and who may experience their gender identity as a multifaceted thing that combines or holds multiple genders at the same time."

10c. "Two of the most common identities outside the gender binary are held by people who are  genderfluid and people who are genderqueer. Someone who’s genderfluid may have a gender identity that fluctuates between male, female, or another gender over time. Their experience of their gender identity and their choice of gender expression may change from day to day or month to month, but it’s all a part of the person’s singular sense of self."     

11. "The term 'genderqueer,' much like the term 'queer' itself, is complex in both definition and usage. Because the word 'queer' has historically been used as a slur, some people feel very strongly about not using it, and that can extend to use of the word 'genderqueer' as well. Other people love the ambiguity of both words, and are part of a wide-ranging movement to reclaim 'queer' and all its variations… a good general rule is to use the words 'queer' or 'genderqueer' only for a person who you know uses those words for themself." 

12.  There are also culturally and ethnically specific gender terms. Gender-expansive people are recognized and affirmed in many indigenous cultures worldwide. Gender-expansive people in North America often use the label Two Spirit. Similarly, Latine is a gender-neutral version of “Latino” or “Latina” and is increasingly being used in Spanish-speaking communities to make language more inclusive. 

Looking Ahead

       We spent so much time setting the table by forming a common language around these terms, we didn't have time to look much at Scripture, other than a brief mention of possible gender non-conforming people in the Bible. That's OK—there were so many good questions that laid an important foundation!  Never fear, we'll spend most of our time the next five weeks digging deep into Scripture.

       Those who were a part of our Holding Faith/Holding Family workshop know that there are just six "clobber verses" about homosexuality in the Bible—three each in the Old Testament and New Testament. But there are even fewer clobber verses directly about transgender and non-binary people. Which is actually wonderful, because it leaves us free to lean into the science.

       Next week we will look at the two passages of Scripture most often used to denounce transgender and nonbinary identities: Genesis 1 and Deut. 22:5. Those will be important discussions you'll not want to miss! And even more importantly, in the following weeks we will explore some really wonderful gifts– passages of Scripture that speak of diverse gender identities in ways that are positive and bring hope. I am looking forward to sharing these life-giving passages together.

       For this week's homework assignment, Hartke challenges us to practice noticing diverse gender expression and how it operates separately from gender identity. Notice when you find yourself assuming someone's gender identity. Ask yourself what about their gender expression makes you think this, and whether you could be wrong (Hint: you could always be wrong!) Optional: read ch. 3 & 4 of Hartke 

Loving God,

Language can be complex and fluid and emotionally laden. The words we use can bring pain and division, or they can bring hope and healing.  Help us to lean into that challenge. I thank you for this community that is willing to engage the hard questions. Help us to be agents of healing in both our words and our actions. Amen.